DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY

my sex drive is on OVERDRIVE..i swear....i can't get satisfiied course ugh ....i havent had sex either i mean not really...well....my gf tg told me i could sleep with one of my "friends with benefits" but i just cant..ugh..i was going to stick to just masturbating and stuff but i tried to get off chat with her and she didnt want me to go...ugh.....i tried staying ..but i couldnt take it anymore.i told her i was going for a walk....she knows what this means....ugh i walked down the road looking for some random guy maybe partying in his yard or standing outside...whatever....in his redneck/mexican neighborhood I know i would find at least ONE person drinking beer maybe...wanting sex but having none. and sure enough I happened on a guy living in a one bedroom shack like place.....he musta been in his 40's ..ok looking i guess but kinda sleezy the kinda guy you would suspect as a child molester....
i barely made eye contact with him and he was like hey what are you doing walking the streets at this hour..i was like oh just getting some fresh air..and he was like hey want a beer...and i was like sure....
ugh can beers..i hate beer in cans...but i took it hoping that maybe it would lead to something that might be half way pleasureable somehow...ugh.....
he was talking something about work or whatever like that....i sat down on his old couch and he sat next to me..he tried to kiss me but his beer breath and teh fact that i dont want anyone kissing me except my baby TG i pushed him away..i was like look i have someone very special and only they are allowed to kiss my lips but my love is so far away so you FUCK me if you want too just dont kiss me....omg i cant believe those words came out of my mouth....he takes me to his bedroom which isnt much better then the living room actually probably worse...its hard for me to describe really....he is like full on grouping me with the permission i gave him...ugh why in the hell did i agree to do this...i was feeling so fucking dirty and nasty i wanted to cry..i wanted to run....
he jumped on his bed...looked at me and said take off your shirt....so i did.ugh he was feeling on my breasts.....and then he slid my pants off and was fingering me ..i had my eyes shut the whole time i didnt want to look at his face....ugh
then he goes to take his pants off and then he just fucking passes out cold...
i started to laugh i got dressed and walked out the door and came home...

I can't even get a nasty sob to fuck me
i still feel dirty though....i took a shower as soon as i came home....i just wish i had someone to jack off too....my baby went to sleep on me after i left..i know she hates me now....she probably thinks im fucking someone else and enjoying it..
truth is even if i got that far i wouldnt enjoy it....
well now i know what one neighbors dick looks like....ugh....lmao
i'm still horny as ever but i have no car no way to travel far....hell if i could travel far id go to canada to my baby.....
she wouldnt pass out drunk on me..and even if she did ummm she would wake up to me eating her out or somethin....;)

I still feel so dirty i gotta get todays events out of my head....ugh i wanna call TG but she will ask me what i did.....i cant...all ill be able to say is go read my blog. I love her so......im sorry im sorry TG im so fucking sorry