To Be Thin or Die Trying?

I didnt go to my therapist appointment today. I dont care to, I dont want to..all I want to do is sleep. I barely want to get on the computer. I only do so because this is the only source of ?? I dont even remember what i was going to say.

To be so Thrilled last week and to barely get 2 hours sleep and be fine with it to now I can’t hardly hold my eyes open and I dont really care to to be completely honest.

A Creditor called for me on my cell today...I told them that Crystal Died....I told the lady taht she killed herself i even started crying. I’m not sure if she believed me but I began to believe myself.

i cant handle my baby anymore (my oldest son) he will be going to live with his father soon and that just makes me feel like such a failure. I can’t get nothing right.

Everytime i eat something i just Hate myself that much more. I’m fat and though I have always been fat growing up....I’m no longer happy with myself i can no longer front a fake smile and continue to lie to myself saying, I LOVE ME THIS WAY...when I do not! I hate it! It hurts to walk sometimes my feet swell so badly. ALL I wanna do is go into a coma and maybe when i wake up Everything will be fine.

My house is a mess....and I haven't eaten anything besides the occasional apple or orange in almost 2 days. I dont want to eat..I just want to be not fat anymore.