im unwell

ugh i changed my status message on myspace to im noone to everyone and instantly my friend mandy flipped out..she is bipolar too...she knows i am...but she flipped out...so i changed it to....crystal is around..adjusting to new meds..yadda yadda whatever else i put i fucking forgot.
anyway.....thats only a part of it
im just stupid im dumb im idiotic.
i need constant validation in every walk of life and well i of course havent been givin validation in a long time....
well thats not all of it either
but thats between me and myself.
i dont dare right that down here
not now not ever..i dont dare speak of it not now not ever

i thought about dying again
how easy it could be...i could huff myself into a coma or death
while i was thinking that i cut 4 more small lines into my leg. lmao
i barely felt the pain....
i dunno what is wrong with me i skinned my elbow the other day and that hurt like a bitch and i was nearly crying like a baby yet i can cut my legs up and be fine with it. haha
im such a baby
a dumb stupid baby
thats what i am...

HEARING VOICES?
yes again very much so...i dunno why
i know it has something to do with my depression i guess..
its funny cuz its different then before...last time it felt like it was coming from my brain like i could know it was not real..this time its a lil more fuzzier like my mind..its becoming increasingly hard to tell if it is coming from my brain or not.
im not sure