little white lies

i hope tay is doing fine...i pray she is washing her clothes finally.
She told me this morning about all the huffing..frankly, i already knew about it..i just didnt think it was right of me to tell her to stop if i wasnt willing to at least try..and i am trying i haven't huffed or cut in like 2 days now..trying to make it 3..its so hard....but im not going to...as long as Tay keeps her end of the bargin up about not huffing so can i..its sooo damn hard.
She has asthma she shouldnt be huffing she is like doubling her risk of death more then me cuz i dont have a lung problem she does. I am a little confused why she thought she couldnt share that with me? after all, if i shared with her so shouldn't she?
but who am i to say anything? lmao....afterall...a couple of weeks ago i got a hold of some meth and did it..and i never did tell her. just once for old times sake...
i think thats why i started back huffing again..to try to keep from doing that again.
im surprised my rents hasnt asked me where that 100 dollars went that i once had and why am i not spending that instead of the money in my bank account...lmao

oh yeah whatever....
I just hope she is fine and she is getting the help she needs....i havent read her blogs today cuz im rather scared too...lmao..im afraid its gonna say something like, THAT DAMN BITCH CC...haha...

i must admit my spirits are a lil better despite the drug cravings.
so a step higher in my mood journal...yup
maybe at this rate i'll be full blown manic by the end of next week...

(well one can wish right?)