mexican torture

well i have good news and bad news..so to speak lmao....
I have not huffed in what has it been 2 days now? i think? lmao well anyway I know I didnt do it yesterday thats for sure. my memory is foggy after that. Probably due to the huffing and stuff I'm so forgetful and blank these days...
Cutting well I had went awhile without doing it and I did it again last night probably about 5 more cuts to add to the collection on my left leg. LMAO its the only thing I have been collecting these days. I'm a brave girl I"m sitting here in my night gown and its really short...My dad already walked in once but didnt seem to notice not that he would pay any attention to his daughters bare legs any damn way LMAO.
yeah my friend told me she doens't know how i could do that. LIke its hard to do. With my dad he is my dad. he is not a man in my eyes ..i mean not a man like a MAN you know what i mean? now my uncles...a few of my uncles are sick. 2 of my uncles in the past has made sexual advances at me ...sick i know. ugh. Like if even. They even offered me $$money to sleep with them. I said hell no. I dont think i could do that even if i was doing that with complete strangers. I don't think i could?
I have had sex with complete strangers though..once I was walking to the convience store about a mile up the road from where I use to live and a mexican in a car stopped me and offered me a "RIDE" yeah a "RIDE" lmao. he kept on saying how cute I was to him. How he "LOVED" me. I figured what they hey i was tired of walking any ways. SO i hoppedin....one of the worst mistakes of my life.
after he dropped me off at the store.He waited for me...I got back in...but he took me to "his" place where all his mexican buddies were...
one can only imagine what happened next...no..not that..not yet lmao.
We did have sex but we were alone...at least at first..all seemed fine..i just wanted him to hury up..he was hurting my nipple he kept biting at it...ugh..he was so short and so ugh not pleasing at all..
then the door opens and all his drunk mexican friends comes in...they were talking mexican but I remember a few words in mexican at the time meaning BITCH. and a few other choice words. Yeah .
and then the "nice one on one fuck" turned into a full on mexican gang bang..but i didnt want it but They didn't respond to the word NO.
Its my fault though I shouldn't of went back to some mexican apartment home with him. I shouldn't have even taken a ride with him. ITs my fault.
i was so scared of std's. But a few weeks later I went and got checked out and I didn't have any. ANd periodically i still go and get checked out esp. for HIV and still nothing.so that is good....
I count my blessings I didnt contract anything. I mean im sure most of them were illegals anyway.
That was years before the whole push to get them out of this country. the illegals.