Plans for our future

Today really wasnt the best of days. I realize just how jealous i can get...ugh...I thought i was over that kinda stuff before...geez...i guess i never learn or grow up.
But also i think some of the anxiety of it all was brought on by lack of sleep and pure boredom...im addicted to TG....i act out if i dont have her.
Look im shaking now. I can barely type. wow
For the past hour i have been thinking of our future..i mean i know its really too soon to be thinking so far ahead of time i mean..she wants a baby.....she wants to share that baby with me....
I told her there is a lot of things that would have to happen first here is a short list:

1)we both would have to get over our cutting and suicidal thoughts at least to a bare minium
2)we both need to get our bipolar on the right track
3)my boys would have to be at least 10 years old (twins)
4)i want to at least live with her happily for a period of 1 year
5)i must have a job. doesnt have to be the shiznits but it has to be stable.
6)I want to marry her first. ;)


yeah
so i was thinking also how we could possibly concieve a baby. Cuz im sure no one would let us adopt anyway LOL.
We could get a mutal male decent looking friend to jizz his sperm in a sterle cup and I COULD Then take the sperm and insert it deep inside her vagina with a needless (no needle of course) Syringe slowly....making her stay hips tilted for about 20 to 30 minutes of so..on her most fertile day of the month. course she would have to be able to get off her meds (lithium) and um she would have to get her periods regulated.cuz i know she said they aren't right now.....

and i guess repeat process every cycle until preggos!! yup
Thats what we will do ....;)